The New New Agile Manifesto

We value

Things that are new and shiny over things that are proven and effective

Slogans and promises over working software

Methodologies and practices over individuals and innovation

Certifications over common sense and aptitude

Group think over critical thought

We Commit

To choosing whichever methodology makes the most grandiose promises

To continue to create new unproven methodologies to keep the certification mills humming

To reject metrics as a measure of success and to continue to create new unproven methodologies so there will be always something new that metrics can’t be applied to

To tithe 10% of our earnings annually to certifications mills, lest our certs be revoked

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About postagilist

Architect, Manager, Developer, Musician, Post-Agile thought leader
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7 Responses to The New New Agile Manifesto

  1. PostAgilist says:

    Please feel free to add your own quatrains, haikus, and stanzas below. They can be serious, abstract, evocative or ireverant it’s all up to you….
    PostAgilist

  2. Doh. Thats deeply depressing

    • PostAgilist says:

      I don’t think so. It’s liberating.

      It would be hard to deny that what is depicted above is what actually occurring.

      When people finally wake up to the fact that the agile manifesto was mostly a launching pad to promote books, seminars, and certifications, then people will wake up to what agile is all about, and move to the post-agile phase.

      From the ashes rises the phoenix.
      PostAgilist

      • Mike Pearce says:

        The Manifesto is just common sense written down, no?

      • PostAgilist says:

        Not really no. Of the 4 original sentences, 2 of which are apropos to most projects and they basically translate to “A Chicken In Every Pot”

        This was done to fire up the masses; to virally market things that would profit a few.

        PostAgilist

      • Mike Pearce says:

        What about the principles? Don’t they have more in the way of good advice than the values? They’re common sense.

      • PostAgilist says:

        I agree with the principles — to an extent — there are some that I disagree with strongly — but modern agile is not about principles it’s about practices. Scrum is a perfect example of that.

        Keep in mind that I’m not saying orange juice is bad; I’m saying orange juice probably isn’t going to cure your cancer.

        There is nothing sacred, or even necessarily relevant to any particular business about the agile manifesto. It’s just the ideas of few people.

        Companies can create their own mission statement and prioritize what is most important to them, than just adopt some random manifesto, much of which I feel is not relevant.

        Agile has been hyped beyond what can reasonably be expected of it, and that is just profiteering, which is, mostly what agile is right now.

        People want a script to follow to be agile and that is silly; yet the agile founders themselves sold scripts of this nature (XP, Scrum).

        Sure the principles are fine (mostly *)and the practices are not (universally applicable).

        You’re missing my point here — which is that anyone can create a declaration or manifesto — by fiat — and use that to try to justify anything.

        Whether the declaration is good or bad is one thing; what it’s being used to sell is another.

        Finally, humility is in order and I’d rather see “our ideas are” rather than “we fundamentally reject X and have written a ‘festo to get some attention about concepts that just might be outdated at this point”

        Recently someone posted a “Scrum Master” manifesto… saying that now, a Scrum Master is a FT position for one team. Self serving? Probably. But creating their own manifesto by fiat is an attempt to make it seem like a worthwhile concept.

        If someone needs to grasp at manifestos to justify a course of action, then they probably do not understand or cannot articulate the concepts they are supposedly championing to begin with — they are just appealing to a “higher power” — one that was created out of thin air.

        PostAgilist

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