Apr. 1, 2012 – San Diego, Ca – Due to growing market demand, we are proud to announce our syllabus for the Scrum Deprogramming and Rehabilitation Sessions coming to a city near you.
Topics that will be covered include:
- How to plan more than 2 weeks ahead
- How to speak while sitting down
- How to read and write documents — with special emphasis on Word, Visio and Powerpoint documents
- How to collaborate with team members around the country using modern tools such as Skype, Email, Webex, Mobile Messaging and more
- How to reduce change during production through such modern mechanisms as prototyping, wireframing, mocks, etc
- How to estimate in standard time units — not just T-shirt sizes!
- How to avoid separation anxiety when working alone
- How to delete those pesky Scrum Master references from your resume
- The best slippers to wear while telecommuting
- And More!
Participants may notice withdrawal symptoms such as nervousness, convulsions, happiness and freedom.
At the end of your course, will receive a certificate and secret handshake that will demonstrate to your coworkers and employers that you are 100% rehabilitated!
To prevent remission all participants are sent home with a note to coworkers and family members admonishing them to NOT ask the participant what they did yesterday for at least 3 months.
Note: The Possession, Use, Sale, Distribution, or Manufacture of “Stickies” (aka Post-It’s) is Strictly forbidden and will not be tolerated. Repeat offenders will be asked to leave the program. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.