Get your Agile Laundry

Recently an agile blogger had tweeted that the most mundane tasks can seem cool, if you preface it with the word agile. Eg, “Agile Laundry”, “Agile Chores”, etc…

I had responded with, well, maybe you’ll finally realize that agile has always been about buzzwords and scamming?

Anyway this morning I was reminded of that Don Henly song, “Dirty Laundry”, and so, without further ado and with apologies to Don Henly I bring you — Agile Laundry!

I make my living off the Agile News
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose
They love Agile laundry!

Well, I coulda been a Manager, but I wound up here
I just have to Coach well, I don’t have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give me Agile laundry

Kick ’em when they’re Push
Kick ’em when they’re Pull
Kick ’em when they’re Push
Kick ’em when they’re Pull
Kick ’em when they’re Push
Kick ’em when they’re Pull
Kick ’em when they’re Waterfall
Kick ’em all around

We got a bubble-headed Scrum Master who
Comes on at nine
He can tell you ’bout the Burn Down with a gleam
In his eye
It’s interesting when Projects die
Give us Agile laundry

Can we film the Integration?
Are the Bugs dead yet?
You know, the QA’s in the War Room got a
Running bet
Get the Post-Its on the set!
We need Agile laundry

You don’t really need to find out what’s going on
You don’t really want to know just how far it’s gone
Just leave our Prophets alone  {alt. Profits}
Eat your Agile laundry

Kick ’em when they’re Push
Kick ’em when they’re Pull
Kick ’em when they’re Push
Kick ’em when they’re Pull

Kick ’em when they’re Push
Kick ’em when they’re Pull
Kick ’em when they’re Waterfall
Kick ’em all ’round

Dirty Agile secrets
Dirty Agile lies
We got our dirty Agile fingers in everybody’s pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love Agile laundry

We can chant Zen Koans
We can dance and sing
When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing
We all know that Crap is King
Give us Agile laundry!